It's about time I get some DECENT StarFox fan art up in here!
Here's a new pic about a REALLY OLD meme: Here's a preteen Wolf O'Donnell laying down the law to a young Fox McCloud, with the words "Can't let you do that, Starfox". The following is a REALLY LAME fan fic for a REALLY SILLY picture. Enjoy!
Wolf: "You shouldn't run with scissors!"
Fox: "Is that why you have an eyepatch?"
Fox was always a bit of a rebel and a risk taker, even at an early age. Son of an ace pilot and from a moderately well to do family, he was constantly looking for trouble, some sort of excitement or feat of daring to get his blood pumping. Although his escapades usually landed him in some hot water, he was nimble enough, and smart enough, to get himself out of more than a few scrapes. No matter how many times his parents would lecture, scold or discipline him, he was right back at it, sometimes even a few hours later.
Wolf, on the other hand, comes from a low income family of space transport pilots (think space truckers). His family settled on Corneria because there was work readily available, and things were more peaceful than on any of the frontier colonies. Wolf was tall for his age, but a bit pudgey and suffered from a lazy eye, which required him to wear a patch on his good eye to strengthen the weak one. He was always scolded for not being as fast, as strong or as bright as his brothers and sisters. This made him aloof and disconnected from his family, which were too busy focusing on making money or getting ahead socially to notice poor Wolf. It also sparked the desire in him to travel to other parts of the galaxy, or at least the desire to just get away...
One day at school the teachers were looking for new students to volunteer for Safety Patrol. Wolf was asked to join by his teacher, as she though the other boys would respect him due to his height and size. Wolf reluctantly agreed, as he didn't have an excuse handy, and he liked the teacher somewhat, as she was one of the few people who were kind to him. Besides, there wasn't much waiting for him at home anyway...
At first, Wolf was unsure about being so visible, as the other kids made fun of him for being a "giant freak", a "one-eyed monster" or a "blob". But he soon noticed that they weren't laughing anymore, at least not to his face. The previous Safety Patrol Officer abused his authority, and the kids knew that Wolf could do so too. If the previous Officer didn't like somebody, he could have their toys taken away from them, under the supposed charge that they were "unsafe", or that they were playing with them "unsafely". Or they could be sent inside from recess if they just looked at him the wrong way, for "playing too roughly". The teacher, although sweet, was naive to believe everything the previous Officer would say. "Better safe than sorry" was her motto.
This was all unknown to Wolf, who simply enjoyed the fact that they stopped harassing him. Also thrilling to him was this new feeling of authority. Everyone moved out of his way... except Fox McCloud.
Fox was also invited to join the Safety Patrol, but he was too busy finding "cool" things to do to be bothered with something as boring as that. Besides, he liked to be on the other side of the rules, that is, breaking them. Wolf and Fox had various run-ins, including the incident in the picture above. It was a sort of cat-and-mouse game to Fox, whereas it was an affront to Wolf's imagined authority and his abilities as a Patrol Officer. This went on for most of the school year, until they parted ways when Wolf's family moved again when his father had a job offering on another planet.
Those peaceful years on Corneria were soon forgotten, as there was trouble brewing on the colony where Wolf's family had just settled into. Civil war tore the colony apart, and one fateful day, the bombs dropped and the sirens blared. War had begun. Among the noise and confusion of trying to evacuate, Wolf was lost among the panicked crowds. His parents didn't even stop to look for him, as they had 5 other pups to herd. The last words he heard from his father over the clamor was, "BAH! That runt is useless. Can't even keep up. Better off without him..."
Abandoned and discarded like an old newspaper, Wolf did what he could to take care of himself. He was caught stealing from a rations depot and was sent to a prison. He was too young to do hard labor, so he was put in a camp for juveniles. There were some tough lessons to learn. And he learned FAST, as it meant his very survival. The hard life hardened his body and his mind, to the point that he was no longer a pudgy, scared boy. He was hardly even a person. He was almost... an animal. He later escaped during a pushback from the opposing forces, which damaged the holding cell where he was housed. Drifting from planet to planet, he soon made his way as a successful mercenary for hire. He later had his vision corrected, but still keeps the eyepatch to remind him of what he once was, and what he is now...
Life changed drastically for Fox as well. He went on to study at the same Flight School as his father, in hopes that he would become a pilot also. But not just any pilot, the BEST. There he met various friends along the way, among whom were Falco, Slippy and Bill. He had dreams of traveling the galaxy, looking for adventures and great stories to tell.
Then one day he received some news that made his blood run cold: His father had just been killed in an "accident" in a deep space experiment. Suddenly, all his notions about having fun and seeking adventure disappeared in an instant. He became serious, focused. He sank himself into his studies as a pilot and graduated top of his class. However, he had developed a sense of mistrust for the agency that his father worked for. Here and there he would hear conflicting reports about what REALLY happened that day. Not even General Pepper would give him any straightforward answers as to what really happened. Although he worked in their experimental testing division as a test pilot for a few years and was making good money, he later decided to go out on his own and work as a independent military force. He asked some of his friends from the academy to join him, and they readily agreed. Traveling the Lylat system, Fox continued in search of work and some solace from his many unanswered questions...
Many years later, Wolf and Fox meet again, never knowing that they crossed paths before...
There, I've wasted 10 minutes of your time AND made you DUMBER!
Fox McCloud and Wolf O'Donnell © Nintendo.